I'm Not Just Working a 12 Step Program...I am Reaching Out for Him

I remember at one of my first 12 Step meetings expressing that I KNEW that the Savior had suffered and died for my sins.  I KNEW that he had felt my pains and carried my burdens and sorrows.  I KNEW that there was power in his atonement and that I could find healing in my life.  But somehow KNOWING these facts wasn't enough for me.  I still did not understand how to access the power of the atonement in my own life.  It was still out of reach for me.

Now, I have been an active member of the church my whole life.  I was a seminary graduate, I got my Young Womanhood Recognition Award, I went to church schools, I read my scriptures regularly, I sang in church regularly, I never even french kissed a man till after I was married, I bore my testimony often, I shared the gospel with others, I didn't watch rated R movies,  I prayed daily,  I served an honorable mission, I married in the temple, and still, notwithstanding all of this I STILL didn't understand how to activate the power of the atonement in my own life.  I could write it down on paper and explain the mechanics of it all to anyone but I hadn't experienced it for myself.  And how could I?  I don't think I even knew what my sins where before the 12 step program.  I was too busy trying to get by without a Savior and keeping rules out of fear.  I would often pray, "please forgive my sins and weaknesses" (even though I have no idea what they are and therefore can do nothing to fix my wrongs nor change and become different).  That is just not very effective!  Step 4 will fix that problem I tell you what!!

I wanted to share this video called, "A Woman of Faith".  I love it because this woman had an "issue of blood" for 12 years.  That is a long time.  I've had an "issue of co-dependency" like, um, about 30 years.  This woman knew that if she could just touch Christ's clothes that she would be healed.  She had to do some sort of action on her own part to be healed.  Well, so do I.  There are actions that I have to take to be healed.  I have found easy steps that I can understand and complete that do activate the atonement in my own life.  12 steps to be exact.  So I am not just "working the program"  I am reaching just like this woman.

I am reaching out for him...