Desert Experience

Hi, my name is Dan and I'm a recovering addict to pornography.  President Ezra Taft Benson once said: "The Lord works from the inside out.  The world works from the outside in.  The world would take people out of the slums.  Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums.  The world would mold men by changing their environment.  Christ changes men, who then change their environment.  The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature..."  The first time I heard that, I thought it was one of the most amazing things ever.  It was so cool, so profound, so true.  Each time thereafter, my interest in it decreased by degrees, until it became just another inspirational quote without real personal meaning or application.  That is, until recently.

A little while back I was walking in the desert with a rock hammer in my hand.  You see, I'm a paleontologist and I was at work.  I was walking down a dry wash looking at either side to see if there were any fossils weathering out when I spied something shiny ahead of me.  I approached it and saw it was an upside down CD or DVD.  I flipped it over with my rock hammer and saw that it was a pornographic DVD.  My instinctual reaction came in the form of the rock hammer crashing down, obliterating it.  I was in shock.  The desert is usually a place safe from temptation for me.  My hands were shaking and I stood a little in wonder that my very first reaction without even thinking about it was to destroy the DVD.  I then said a prayer of thanks that I am at a point in my recovery where there was no internal struggle before I did the right thing in that situation.  I also asked again for continued help and strength against temptation. 

The next time I read President Benson's words, it dawned on me that the Lord is changing me from the inside out.  The world is still the same place.  There is still evil and temptation all around and there is very little I can do to change that, but Christ is changing me.  He is changing my nature. 

If you desire to change and come closer to Jesus Christ, you too are being changed by Him from the inside out.  No matter where you are on your path of recovery, whether you have 10 minutes or 10 years of sobriety, Christ is working to change your nature.