Trick-or-Treating and Turning my Will Over to God

Hi, my name is Dan and I'm a recovering addict to pornography.  A few years ago, we went to the Trunk-or-Treat when our second daughter was about 18 months old.  She loved getting candy and was so excited at the prospect.  The only problem was that she refused to let go of each new piece and wouldn't let us put them in her pumpkin bucket.  She wanted to eat it all right then.  Needless to say, there was way more than she could handle in her little toddler hands and mouth all at once.  The result was a screaming, frustrated child and two exasperated parents. 

I have been just like that screaming toddler.  I want things to work out my way and I want to do things my way and I don't want to listen to what anybody else has to say about it because I'm right.  So there.  But my candy is spilling out all over the place and I can't hold onto it. 

Step 3 is: "Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ."  My will is like the candy.  When I try to make things work out the way I want without considering what God's will is, things go very wrong and I'm miserable.  But when I decide to put my will into the pumpkin bucket the Lord has provided, I find that I'm happier and that life becomes easier for me to handle.  My problems no longer threaten to drown me.  With the Lord's help, I'm able to keep my head above water. 

In the same way that my daughter would have greater access to her candy if she would allow us to place it in the bucket, when I turn my will over to the Lord, I too have greater access to it.  This is because I am not turning my will over to Satan who binds me and limits my ability to choose for myself.  When I turn my will over to the Lord, I have so much more opportunity to use it properly. 

One last thing.  Turning my will over to the Lord isn't a single act.  I only have access to my will right now, not ten days or even ten minutes from now.  I can only turn it over to the Lord in this moment.  Trying to turn it over to Him a year down the road doesn't work.  Contemplating years down the road was too daunting, especially when my recovery was new.  Focusing on right now, taking it one day (or one moment) at a time helps me to not be discouraged.  And it is something that I must continually work on.