I
struggled with my addiction to pornography all by myself for so long. I would always tell myself. "I can do this. All I have to do is just stop indulging and
I'll be fine. I don't need to tell
anyone. I don't need any help. I can do this if I just exercise enough will
power." And though I had weeks,
months, and even years of not acting out, it never lasted. I was never strong enough by myself to
quit. I resigned myself to living that
way thinking that "It wasn't that bad", that I could hide it, that it
wouldn't hurt anyone else besides me.
But I was oh so very wrong. Once
my eyes were opened to the damage I was causing in my family and the pain I was
inflicting on my wife and children, I knew I needed to stop and get help. So I returned to the 12 Steps.
Since
that time, my life has turned around dramatically. I no longer tell myself those old lies. I have hope in eternity and peace today. But most of all, I am happy. I am happy despite the trials and challenges
life confronts me with each day.
One
of the greatest realizations I have made about the ARP is that the 12 Steps
which it teaches are the Atonement of Jesus Christ for dummies. I thought I knew what the Atonement was all
about. I mean, I've taught church lessons
on it, given talks about it, and even taught it on a nearly daily basis as a
missionary. I thought I'd applied it in
my life and that I had it down. I was so
wrong. My understanding of the Atonement
was almost exclusively an academic understanding. My practical experience with it was very
rudimentary. I really didn't know what
it was all about.
The
Atonement of Jesus Christ is all about change.
It is about overcoming the natural man (Mosiah 3:19) and becoming
a godly man, a man like Jesus Christ. I
came across a scripture recently which touched me profoundly. In Ephesians 2:15, Paul says "...for to make in
himself of twain one new man, so making peace". This describes me. I felt like I was two men inside one body. But through the Atonement, I've been able to begin
the process of making from two, one new man.
In
Ether 12:27, the Lord says "I give unto men weakness that they may be
humble." In a very strange way which
I never thought would be true, I am thankful for my addiction. If it was not for my addiction, I don't think
I ever would have realized the need I have for Jesus Christ and the grace of
his Atonement. My addiction to
pornography is the one thing in my life which brought me so low, which humbled
me, and made me acknowledge my need to overcome my natural man and turn to
Jesus. Working the 12 Steps of the ARP
is the only tool I've ever found which helps me to fully access the Atonement
and invite Jesus into my life.
If
you are struggling with an addiction to pornography (or any addiction), please
try the ARP. If you have a loved
one struggling with any addiction, please try the ARP. If you sincerely apply the 12 Steps to your
life, I know you will see the Lord's hand in it. I know you will be able to be healed from the
hurt and pain you feel. I know this
because I have seen it happen in my life.
